Persistent Thoughts

It's 10 am on this beautiful Sunday and while I should still be asleep, my thoughts won't let me.

I've created 2 performance pieces for Open Mic Night at Busboys and Poets. We - me, My Love, Grisel, Del & Denise, Vina, Dad, Karley, Stella, and Cyd - went last week but it was sold out. We're better prepared this week though, so if you have time come through!

I refused to have anything but peanut M&M's this morning. A few minutes later, a funny thought came about:

Uncovering a cheater is like a hangover. You know all that alcohol ain't good for you but you consume all you can until you can't take anymore, you barf, then you wake up the next day wishing you made a better decision.

I was inspired by that movie Hangover which was hilarious! Relationships are already difficult as they are and require a lot of work, but if it's worth it then you do all you can to make sure it survives.

Random fact: Peanut M&M's is brain food for me. Sometimes I think most of my great work was created through several bags of these.

If you can, you should come out this Wednesday @ BB&P and check out the amazing poets around the DMV.

Fulfillment for Thyself

Life is an amazing roller coaster filled with laughs, cries, love, failures, happiness, etc. Family, friends, and that significant other can make your schedule wish there were more hours during the day or week! From work, school, fun parties and BBQ's to long weekends at the beach....

But I have to admit that time for myself is so fulfilling. It's best to take advantage of "ME" time. I understand this is a luxury for those who have children or work a hectic 80-hour week, but the feeling...aahhhhh it is so invigorating!!

For example, today I picked up my Caddy from my bro and for weeks of pondering whether to sell it or not, a certain used-car retailer company tells me that it isn't even worth it. I walked away so bummed cuz I want to just get rid of it!

Then I end up taking the wrong exit on my way home only to find out that I'm headed to one of my fave local spots, The Rio. I went for a stroll and had dinner @ Rio Grande/Don Julio's. I hadn't been back in awhile, but it was nice to treat myself to some delicious tacos!

There are some people who can't go out alone because then you'll be viewed as a loner, right? Wrong!! Because after you reach that turning point in your life (for me it was @ 19), then you begin to realize what matters most. And it isn't the flakes who calls once in a blue moon to hang out and listen to her/him unravel their pile of sh*t on you or use you for obvious reasons....

At one point in life we all have to grow up. I feel I'm way beyond that because looking at the reflection of my face in my old woman car, I see a beautiful person who seeks meaningful friendships and requires only simple things in life.

Fulfillment for Thy Self .... what does it mean to you???

It feels so good, so right....

Rhythmic Love

You're my best friend and everything I could ask for
Your love is something like a metaphor
You're the icing on the cake
The sunset at the lake
The one person that could make....

.....Me quiver yet tranquil at the same time
Our hearts are in a constant rhyme
Agreeing with one another that they're destined to be together
Forever, forever.....

3 years strong and I feel like we've grown into the partnership I've always wanted with the opposite sex. We can talk for hours or say nothing at all. I don't feel superior nor would I ever want you to feel inferior.

It's as if "soul mate" isn't appropriate; perhaps lifetime companion is more accurate. I believe that matters more than "love" because contrary to popular belief, love does not conquer all. I've yet to feel this way for anyone. I LOVE YOU and may we have more years to look forward to...

Poetry Session

The Acquisition of Dreams

Dreams put on hold
Left untold and unfed
Are for the dead

One must continue
To nurture and pursue
Otherwise you'll be empty and confused

Dreams are feasible
Don't allow yourself to become feeble
Or mingle
With society's path
They will feel your wrath

As you uncover the essence of your being
Your relentless daydreams unbecoming
If it isn't tired or tried then you will survive
You shall not conform to somebody's definition
Of perfection

Dreams are seeking your truth
Persevering through all struggles of our youth
Looking back to the lovely days of pitter patter
Even if yesterday was bitter
You're an entirely new person altogether

Believe that it can be achieved as long as you perceive
And you make it clear through your actions
And liaisons
With your mind, body, and soul
No one else has the right to control

Dreams allow you to be the driver
And the passenger

Of an all-inclusive and exclusive club
One that omits anyone from deferring
Your dreams....

Penned by: Marie Banzuelo
Created on 4/28/09
At precisely 11:55 pm

WTF is wrong with this?

I was at the library the evening of Wednesday, April 15th studying for my exam the following day. The library is now my second home - I mean what more could you ask for? Unlimited access to books, periodicals, DVDs, etc. You just have to remember to bring it all back or else you'll suffer late fees, but what's so difficult about that? Hhmm....you'd be surprised how most people forget LOL

I came across this Lacoste ad from Glamour magazine and saw a few problems I had with it. The two front and center models are, of course, not a minority. BUT THE OTHER TWO THAT WERE CUT OFF ARE!!! They couldn't have moved the fan?! Or cropped it to ensure everyone is shown?!?!?!

Our current technology will allow us to photoshop and crop until the editing looks decent. You see most of these models, actors, pseudo actresses on the magazine covers photoshopped to death to make sure their imperfections aren't obvious.

If they had removed that fan and showed everyone appropriately, I wouldn't be so infuriated. Am I simply overreacting or is this an issue that should be addressed by Glamour magazine or Lacoste???

Oh, Rain

Rain, you were always on my favorite things list
But right now I want you to listen to my diss...

Rain, I used to love you until today
I wish you would leave me and just go away
I'm hopeful
That the sun's here to stay
For the remainder of the day anyway

Rain, I'm fighting hard to stay awake
Trying to resist but each time my eyes start to feel heavy
Then they close momentarily
What are u doin' to me?

Rain, I used to love your calming and sensual effects
Now you made a mess on my J's
Frizzed up my waves
And drenched my trench coat down to my fetish

Oh, rain please alleviate my pain
Wanna put on my pretty dresses & cuffed jeans
These are things you forbid and restrict
Oh, rain you're acting like a d*ck!

Yet still I've got love for you
But don't test my patience
Take note and move on to the next state
Don't let me see you around here no more
I am now shutting my door.....

1 month down, 3 more to go....

A month ago today, I made a vow to myself. I vowed that for four months, I will not buy a single garment, shoes, accessories, etc. No to shopping sprees!! Ooohhhh, it seems like it's been years!!!

If you're wondering why I would do such thing, here are the following reasons:

* Every time I browse at any store or even online, I HAVE to buy something!
* If I see something I really like and it comes in other colors, I'll buy it all
* I'm a sucker for shoes so I buy 'em in bunches
* A gorgeous blouse or shirt must go with the perfect jeans or skirt and I won't stop 'til I find both even if I already have something similar in my closet!
* I try to convince myself, 'Hey, it's a great sale - it's only $10! And then I can't seem to ignore the other "great sales"

If I keep going, it'll probably take several posts LOL! So like a true addict, I've been going through withdrawals. I even slipped last week! I saw a double-strap buckle belt at Ann Taylor that would go great with a few things in my closet. BUT...If I'm going to be serious about this, I would have to completely commit to it. I returned the belt!!

As with all recovering addicts, there are going to be times when I'm gonna slip. My shopaholic ways isn't as serious as other addictions. However if you check out my post entitled 'What's your Addiction?', you will find how it can easily get out of hand. But like the true champ that I am, I'm gonna make it....

What's your Addiction?

Per usual, I was watching Good Morning America while getting ready for work. They covered an interesting topic that hit really close to home. It aired last week and it was about a woman who had an addiction. Here's the story according to ABCNEWS:

A lady named Ginger Logan-Cannon is a true definition of a shopaholic. She makes $100,000/year as a parole officer. She lives on a typical street and in a typical middle class home in Southern California. She regularly receives monthly credit card bills for around $1,500 and is around $150,000 in debt because of her outrageous shopping habits.

She confesses to purchasing a garment at the price of $1,800 saying it was "a good deal". From an $1,800 St. Johns jacket to $900 Louis Vuitton shoes, Logan-Cannon's closets were so packed that her husband built her a few more in the garage.

Ok, first of all anything that costs over $200 is NOT A GOOD SALE! This may sound similar to a post I did a couple days ago however this focuses on how it can get out of control for most people!

She lives a modest life, but spends money on clothes, furniture, etc. like it's going out of style. Everyone keep this in mind: SAVING MONEY NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE! Why in the world would you shop 'til you drop if you clearly need to stop?! I mean to the point that your husband will DIVORCE your ass!!

I don't think it should ever get that bad. I couldn't imagine paying almost $2,000 in credit card bills for shopping sprees when I also have a home to pay for. What's more important: having a roof over your head or those cute Louboutins on your feet?

People, we have to be smarter than this! I used to be a shopaholic, but now I just shop smarter. I vowed not to shop for 4 months and it's almost been a month, but it seems like forever! Especially since all the cute summer clothes are coming out! But I am determined to make it, so can you.....

April Fools - Such a Tool

I'm going to come clean: I just realized I DON'T LIKE APRIL FOOL'S DAY. I think it's dumb and pointless!

There are some things you can joke about, but what are those things? And who the hell came up with this anyway?

Well, according to Wikipedia it's unclear when it all started. One of the first few recorded April Fools event was in the UK on one of its popular networks, BBC.

This is what happened: The BBC television programme Panorama ran a famous hoax in 1957, showing the Swiss harvesting spaghetti from trees. They had claimed that the despised pest, the spaghetti weevil, had been eradicated. A large number of people contacted the BBC wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees. It was, in fact, filmed in St Albans.[6]

Ok, this was way back in the '50s, but we all know spaghetti does not grow on trees. Duh! LOL

Also, this morning my co-worker suggested that I prank my other half by giving him a pregnancy test. Why and how is that even funny? I mean, ok it all depends on delivery, but if I tell anyone that I was indeed PREGNANT, then will they believe me if and when it does happen?

Am I overanalyzing this? I gave him the WTF face and said NO. No and no and no! I refuse to succumb to the April Foolishness!

All Hail the Queen - Nikki Giovanni (Part 1)

I was introduced to a certain poet 3 years ago. During this time, I've just been discovering others such as Langston Hughes, Edgar Allan Poe, etc. And though their names aren't foreign to me, I didn't know their work intimately.

One day someone handed me a small book with a red jacket entitled "Love Poems" by Nikki Giovanni. It was a gift from an ex co-worker, but one of the best I've ever received. She is quite profound to say the least.

My absolute fave is the first section I Hope It's Love. The one that stood out the most is as follows:

And I Have You



Rain has drops
Sun has shine
Moon has beams
That make you mine

Rivers have banks
Sands for shores
Hearts have heartbeats
That make me yours

Needles have eyes
Though pins may prick
Elmer has glue
To make things stick

Winter has Spring
Stockings feet
Pepper has mint
To make it sweet

Teachers have lessons
Soup du jour
Lawyers sue bad folks
Doctors cure

All and all this much is true
You have me
And I have you



NOTE: It seems like Busboys and Poets is my favorite place to be have my yearly birthday dinner. The pic above is from last year's birthday celebration.I'm so excited about the new location on 5th & K St!

One day, sometime this year I am going to get on that stage and just let it flow.....

What does your Dream mean?

This is part 1 of the 'What does your Dream mean' post. It's mainly because I have had very peculiar dreams as of late. It has been said before that dreams are one's reality personified. That it means something or maybe nothing at all.

I woke up at 5:00 am this morning and got ready for my day earlier than normal. I dozed off around 7:00 am and woke up in a daze. In my dream, I was in a very tiny & crowded room fighting something. For the record, I'd like to think that I'm a lover and not a fighter. But the fighter is brought out in case of an emergency - LOL!

So, who was I fighting? A barbie doll. I know what you're thinking because I am now thinking the same thing. WHY THE HELL AM I FIGHTING A BARBIE DOLL? And a naked one at that?!?!

I think this boils down to insecurity. We all have our own likes and dislikes about ourselves but we deal with it our own way. I think that it's saying that I'm trying to fight off some insecurities, specifically the superficial & insignificant "issues". Perhaps the "perfect" image everyone strives for. The areas where some people lack like the "perfect smile" or the "perfect hair". For me, it's the "perfect body". Here goes sounding the least bit vulnerable - I like my soft skin but wished I was more toned. The thing about the woman's body that men don't understand is that due to the "monthly friend", we have one GREAT week or week and a half out of the entire month! The other days are spent eating chocolates or fried foods or just lounging around loathing. As much as I'd like to attain the 3 or 4 workout days of the week, it's very likely that it won't happen. And usually it doesn't during the winter time.

I am way more active during the summer and it has a lot to do with the warm weather & the likelihood that the sun will be out during the course of the day.

Have you had any weird dreams that you've made an attempt to explicate??? Are they as weird as mine above???

Too Much yet Too Little

I've done most of my spring cleaning. Along with wiping down books, furniture, etc. - I suppose you can say I was "cleaning out my closet."

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your thoughts scattered? When you haven't done your laundry for so long and inches of dust begin to accumulate on everything from your windowpane to picture frames? I can admit that I'm a bit of an OC, but how can one live in all that dirt?

Last weekend, I had too much sleep yet too little time to enjoy the cleanliness of my domain. I also had too much fun basking in the warm weather yet too little time to actually enjoy it outside. I remained in my bed beating the cold/flu symptoms. Aahhh, it's true that all you really need is a whole lotta sleep to recover completely. I'll add honey tangerines and coconut juice to that. I had about 4 tangerines and 2 coco juices and I swear they both killed any attempts of a cold.

The above pic is kind of a given - Stop depriving yourself of a good night's sleep!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

I've got a few questions for you.....

2008: What was the last thing you did? What was the last thing you bought? Who was the last person you saw? What was the last thing you ate?

2009: Where did you go to ring the New Year in right? Who did you kiss? Same questions above apply as well.

Allow me to answer the following questions

2008: I was at the Mercers playing Wii with Evan, Jaylen, Lawrence & Ebony. I had 3 pieces of chicken & mashed potatoes with cheese. The last thing I bought was a green & white striped LACOSTE polo, green cable-knit sweater and gray turtleneck from GAP.

2009: Evan, Jaylen, Lawrence, Ebony & I stayed in and did the countdown thing however the excitement wasn't there. It was as if it was another day and all we wanted to do was go to sleep. With the exception of Jaylen - now he wanted to play Wii all night (lol).

It's quite obvious who I shared the New Year kiss with and also the first person to see the following morning. The first thing I ate was beef stew and sticky rice when we got home at about 1:20 am. Went to a few stores, but the Dollar Tree had 50% off XMAS items so I bought bows & tags, tape, a coloring book for my nephew and Twizzlers.

Aaahhh, 2009 is finally here and I know people have made their "resolutions" list. I've got only 3 goals for the year: save money, buy a home, and earn my RPA. The two resolutions I'm planning to keep are staying fit and eating healthy. They're the most difficult to stay on top of because I'd like to think I can eat whatever I want and then I'll work out later. Unfortunately, that could mean 3 days or a week after savoring milkshakes, fries, and a burger. Not a good look, so some way I'll devise a fool proof plan.

I wish everyone a joyous and prosperous New Year!

NOTE: You ain't foolin' nobody. Accomplish at least one resolution. Some people forget about that list the day after New Years LOL.

Hi, My name is___ and I'm a _____

Well, I'd like to begin the day with a little soul cleansing:

Hi, My name is Ivy and I'm a shopaholic. How do I deal with a sudden urge to rack up on those perfect-fitting jeans or bangin' pumps that I don't need? I'm open to treatment without medication. I've never liked medicine however I'm aware of its benefits. For women it's mostly a little bit of retail therapy or spas / nail salons. For men, it's cars & electronics.

Back to my problem, when something fits me satisfactorily, I HAVE TO GET IT! The most recent shopping excursion confirmed my addiction. Lord & Taylor had some really nice dresses and a great sale to go along with it. So, I ended up getting 4 dresses all under $150! But why do I feel so bad, you ask? Well, because 1) I just bought some Miss Sixty sandals in the wintertime! and 2) Where the hell am I going to wear all those dresses?

Of course, certain events that have yet to occur come to mind. I tell myself that I'll have the dress for all occasions: upcoming galas or company dinners, someones upcoming wedding, or when I go on a boat cruise (like the Odyssey, something that requires a nice dress). Given, I know where the good sales are. And I have a budget, but the question is: Do I really need it?

I've been told that I have a distorted understanding between "want" and "need". The persuasion ensues upon a great find: Well, it's a damn good sale and I may "want" it, but it can possibly turn into something I'll "need" later on. Is that sufficient reasoning? Do you do this as well?

I'm getting better with budgeting though and haven't bought a thing except for what I "need". I'm having withdrawals because of all the holiday sales, but you know what? It's all a matter of mind games, but if I do see an eclectic blouse with a tempting price tag, I promise to think it through 10 times before I buy it.

UPDATE: Not too long after this post, I found this article from Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/27/AR2008112702345.html?wpisrc=newsletter&wpisrc=newsletter&wpisrc=newsletter....glad to know it ain't just me!