PREGNANCY

I wasn't one of those girls who at 14 or 15 said, "I want lots and lots of kids."
I can recall that I was discovering my artistic talents at that time - drawing, painting, writing - and concluded that I was better off writing (ha-ha). As with most teenage girls, I liked boys. I always made sure I had my hair looking right and the hottest pair of shoes or clothes on to impress the "cute boys". Although at the time, babysitting was the only occupation available until a couple years later so the budget there was minimal. Then, I had my first official "boyfriend". He was an okay guy but a terrible friend. I wondered from time to time how my relationship with his mother was far more fulfilling than ours ever was. The reasons are as follows: 1) lack of loyalty and trust, 2) that "first" always cuts the deepest and 3) a certain comfort in communicating his intent on me having his "kids"...hhhmmm. Good thing I found a friend and confidante in his mom (otherwise I would've probably lost it lol).

PREGNANCY ..."is the most beautiful thing in the world" or so I've heard. I have a love/hate relationship with that thought and figured out that I am so not ready! I truly admire the following moms I know: my sisters - Ching and Sandra - Chanel and the best one of all: MY MOM! My nephew, Devin, was something else even before he was introduced to this world. I was certain about his greatness, unique & lovable personality prior to his arrival and thereafter because his mom possess those very same traits. Endless talks about nausea, vomiting, leg cramps, gestational diabetes, and contractions turned me off on that thought as well. The latter being the most challenging part of it all or so I've heard. A friend told me that PREGNANCY ...."can scare the hell out of even the strongest of women" which means she is TERRIFIED! I would be too but this proves the incomparable strength that a woman has over a man. They can't grasp through all that labor and pain because in the end all he can probably think of is his gain. 'I got a little mini-me now' --- My response would be to use all curse words possible because you have no idea what I've been through! I hope some men have matured way past that and keep in mind never to say that during or after labor.


I am so glad to have made the decisions that I did at the time and have few regrets to live with but I COULD NOT LIVE WITH BEING SOMEONE'S BABY MAMA AT 17? NO, NO, NO...I have nothing against the girls who've had their kids before they hit 21 but that's just not cohesive with my beliefs and I've got far too much ambition & purpose than to stay at home with my child as opposed to fully developing psychologically and spiritually as a woman first. Can I establish my career first so I can ensure my child's well-being? I'd like to provide my child/children with the best possible future - to have that choice whether or not they should go to private school - clothe and house them? No offense to the women who had their kids early; these are simply my views. Of course, I won't elaborate any longer about the past but I'm thankful for it. I've learned to seek higher standards in men: TRUST, LOYALTY, FRIENDSHIP, AND HONESTY. I believe I have found that....


I know that all of the women stated above are strong. They're great moms or soon-to-be moms and I AM SO PROUD OF THEM! Aside from the nausea, leg cramps, etc...I think I would do great. Of course, I won't find out until a few years from now....